Writing Samples:
These are merely a handful of poems, blogposts and essays written by me. Additional works or works on a specific subject or topic are available upon request.
Poetry:
Ferris Wheel
It glistens against the night sky.
An arc of glowing lights, slowly circling round.
Music thrumming along as it churns.
Delighted screams and laughter below.
You tug my hand and point to it.
Begging to take a turn.
We wait in line until we are called forward.
The door is opened.
I duck to climb inside though I am far from tall.
The latch is turned and we are stuck.
We slowly rise and you giggle.
You are caught in the moment.
But I am far from feeling free.
I feel that small car rock back and forth.
It creaks and groans with our added weight.
The cart stops.
The air is still and the wind sways us back and forth.
But we are stuck.
Never to rise. Never to fall.
I look down and see a mess of rides and lights.
You laugh again with glee and point out how far up we are.
You feel that you can fly.
I lean over the edge and the cart emits a low groan.
We shift and start our ascent again and I let out an ear piercing scream.
You just shake your head and laugh.
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Read Me
A smile creeps along my face when I feel you.
Behind me, looking over my shoulder.
You said it's amazing that I'm a writer,
But I find it more fascinating that you'll read my work.
That you'll read me.
You tuck the curl behind my ear
That threatens to drape across my forehead
And it sends a shiver down my spine.
But I keep my pen in grasp,
Too determined to let you break my concentration.
It's hard to let people in.
To let them watch you cut yourself open
And bleed your raw thoughts onto a page.
I am vulnerable and exposed.
Letting you carefully pluck me by my spine
Off a shelf to see what's inside.
I let you skim through the pages
Seeing if I am worth the read.
Will I become your favorite?
Will you dog-ear my pages to revisit again
And will you curl up with me by the fire in your favorite chair?
Or will I sit untouched at the back of your shelf.
Or worse, be abandoned at some yard sale,
Sold on a table for merely a nickel
To someone else less caring, less interested.
Do you want to read my words?
Are you ready to read me?
Will you write yourself into my pages?
Or can we never be?
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Liar
There are words that stick with us like a wet leaf on the sole of your shoe
We carry them with us when we walk the earth whether we know it or not
And here I sit, writing a poem remembering a tangent of wisdom
Small as a leaf, but mighty like a tree with deep roots
Two truths and a lie, my English teacher laughed
All good poetry is weaved together with the thread of a lie
Stupid, I thought, to tell falsities to my readers who trusted my words
Only the truth would I write, or not a single verse at all
But it seems I am more of a liar than a writer
For I promised myself to never think, speak or write of you
But the only person I’ve lied to is myself
As I let you walk through the lines of my verses and trek mud through my poems.
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Migraine
It inches along my scalp with the speed of honey running down a jar,
Smiling with vengeance as it folds itself into the depths of my brain.
Planted, it eases back into the pits of my mind and sighs of relief.
There is a rumble and the fire spreads to every inch of my head.
Screaming and shaking, it pounds its fists against the walls.
It runs amuck, like a child in the schoolyard yelling with delight.
Ripping flowers from the dirt and spreading innocent earth askew.
The giggles continue as the hammer is pounded again and again.
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Blogposts:
My personal blog is LexicalLogan.wordpress.com and is called "Leaves of Logan". The following links listed below are samples that will take you to the direct post on the blog site.
Essays:
Fundamental Blocks of Structuralism Behind the Wallpaper
1892 brought light to Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper” and bewildered readers by introducing them to an unreliable narrator who descends into insanity while trying to fight the prominence of patriarchy, while trapped inside the confines of a bedroom and within the walls of her own mind. Gilman is credited with creating groundbreaking literature that is bold for its time and fights against the norms of society. Gilman gives readers a closer glimpse at a woman who is supposedly ill and hysterical and lets us watch her as she unravels. Is she, and all women for that matter, truly sick, or was the world not ready for women to be educated thinkers who wanted to share their thoughts without being called mad? Gilman’s story is typically associated with feminism and a desire for equality, but when looked at through a different approach, like structuralism, it seems that Gilman’s tale is less about empowerment and more about putting a woman in her supposed place. When explored through the lens of a structuralist critic, “The Yellow Wallpaper” is really the story of an ill woman’s downfall into insanity after a failed approach at independence made evident through symbolism, archetypical structure and narratology.
Mary Klages tells us that “structuralism is a way of thinking that works to find the fundamental basic units or elements of which anything is made” (31). Klages goes on to explain that a structuralist must break a story into “units” to see how those pieces work together as a whole to relay a certain message. While a woman author and narrator of “Wallpaper” might point to a feminist theme, chunking pieces of the story and analyzing them, gives the story a very different meaning. Gilman puts a variety of archetypes at play, and while feminism is one of those categorical systems, it is not the only one at the story’s core. Readers will be able to pick out themes of the dreamer, utopia, radicalism, martyrdom, rebellion, a damsel in distress and several others. However, these archetypes are made clear through use of symbolism throughout the story; each description and detail is crucial to plot meaning no matter how insignificant it might seem.
Gilman threads symbols throughout her story and begins at the description of the setting. Haney-Peritz shares that “the narrator…turns a symbolic house into the haunted house she initially feared might be too much to demand of fate” (197). Gilman introduces both the reader and the narrator to a home reminiscent of a haunted house that brings a looming, evil feeling to the rest of the story and shares that the narrator is feeling scared and vulnerable. Mentions of entrapment continue with “hedges and walls and gates that lock” (Gilman 30) and describing that “windows are barred” (Gilman 32). Symbolism from the setting creates a tone, but so does the symbolicalness of a career, like John being a physician. A physician is interesting for several reasons, because we typically feel safe and comfortable listening to a doctor’s orders, we ordinarily agree with their diagnoses and opinions, and we respect their authority and knowledge. Merely from a character’s career, the reader is being told that this is a character whom we should respect, listen to and trust, because his occupation says to do so and it also makes us sympathetic to the narrator who must respect him in the same way we are expected to.
“…Works in this tradition generally begin by using houses as primary symbols of female imprisonment, they also use much of the other paraphernalia of “woman’s place” to enact their central symbolic drama of enclosure and escape” (Gilbert and Gubar 115). Gilbert and Gubar raise the point that the physical home is important because this time period expresses that a woman belongs in the home and she is bound by the stereotype of being a homemaker. While John is free to enter and exit the home, the narrator is always stuck inside physically, but also metaphorically. Symbolism also stands out in the title through usage of wallpaper and the color yellow. Wallpaper is simple enough, as it is usually applied to cover something up or to disguise something. In fact, the story itself acts as wallpaper to be admired by a reader through proper literary devices and creativity, while covering up important issues and themes that must be discovered over time.
Color is intriguing as yellow can be associated with happiness and the sun, but it also has some depth to it. Judy Scott-Kemis explains that yellow is associated with knowledge, perception and hope. Scott-Kemis also shares that yellow “can awaken greater confidence and optimism”, “activates the analytical brain” and is “integration of new ideas and thoughts”. These descriptions of the color align well with the narrator’s goals and thoughts throughout the story and explain why she was fascinated with the wallpaper and the promise of freedom. Scott-Kemis also points out that “darker shades of yellow indicate an inclination toward depression and melancholy, lack of love and low self-worth” which are traits of the narrator as well, and could very well be why Gilman describes the wallpaper as an “unclean yellow” (31).
Furthermore, structuralism further breaks down its own pieces, like archetypical structure, into even smaller parts with tools like Barthes Codes. The five different codes each address a different level of the plot that deepens meaning when placed together. Proairetic code explores the plot through action which follows as: buying the house, moving in, the narrator journaling, the narrator’s increased sleep, the increased intrigue in the wallpaper, seeing women in the paper, ripping down the paper, thinking about escape, escaping into the paper, and John fainting. Hermeneutic code shows the puzzle of the narrator and asks deeper questions: Who is Jane? Did the narrator really escape or is she stuck? What did she escape from? What happens when the story ends? What is the narrator trying to prove? Referential code explores the background and focuses on the time where the story was written, which tells the reader that at this time women were viewed as hysterical, lesser than men, homemakers and mothers. Semic code refers to character material like the narrator’s postpartum depression, her desire to write and escape and being married to a doctor. The fifth code is symbolic and relates to the theme of the story like the wallpaper, occupations, the ‘haunted’ house and a ‘hysterical’ woman. Each code strips the story down into a variety of meanings and questions, destroying the fact that this story means only a singular thing and instead, stressing the layers of ideas and thoughts.
Finally, structuralism explores Narratology, or the belief that there is only one story. Narratology surmises that all stories follow a pattern and although the plot or characters may differ slightly, it is inevitable that these stories will basically be the same and can be broken down and identified in the same way. Klages says “the goal is to reduce all stories to some basic bare-bones structure and then see how all stories are structurally the same” (33). If “Wallpaper” is viewed as a woman trapped somewhere in need of help, it is similar to Snow White in a glass coffin after being poisoned, or Sleeping Beauty in need of a kiss to be awoken from an endless sleep. Or perhaps the most familiar fairy tale that has been re-spun over and over again would be the Brothers Grimm’s “Rapunzel”. No matter what variation of the tale a reader is familiar with, it is easy to picture a fair, young maiden trapped alone in a tall tower waiting day after day for someone to rescue her. Her long hair is not a crucial point to know, although it is yellow, but the story is similar enough. Both Rapunzel and our narrator were locked up in a sort of home because of men: John took his wife to this room for her health, and Rapunzel was banished to her tower because of her father’s theft. Both women were isolated, vulnerable and in need of saving. While Rapunzel could not escape herself and needed the help of a prince, our narrator thought she escaped, but more likely escaped her own mind and became insane. Either way, in both the fairytale and “Wallpaper” the women failed to gain freedom and independence on their own. “Not only [do writers and critics] repeat the story, but also present it as a paradigm, as “the story that all literary women would tell if they could speak their speechless woe’” (Haney-Peritz 199). Whether it be folktale, poetry or prose, all writers seem to send the same message from women.
Analyzing Gilman’s story through Structuralism weakens its feminist power and brings the focus to various other archetypical plot types. The more the story is pulled apart, the more meaning and questions it brings to the surface. Even though Structuralism breaks the story down physically, it only boosts the power of Gilman’s story and brings endless possibilities of purpose.
However, negative thoughts do begin to brew when we realize that the narrator, whether she be a damsel in distress, a feminist or a woman looking for utopia, fails to achieve what she sets out to do and ends up driving herself insane. What is the meaning of that failure? Is Gilman writing that a woman can never complete whatever goal this narrator has set out to do because of the way the world is? Or could Gilman’s story really be a triumphant battle cry for continued patriarchy? Did Gilman want women to read about this female narrator who attempted to be independent and go against male orders only to be defeated by her own weakness and madness in the end? Now that structuralism has broken down the story, what does Gilman want us to learn by picking up the pieces?
Promise Them Heaven, but Give ‘em Hell, Kid
Holy Saint Benedict,
My name is not important to know, but I would like to share my story with you and ask that you grant me a favor. I presently serve a blessed life as the Abbot of a monastery, but I was not always a humble servant of God. You see, my life was a dismal one haunted by poverty and sin. Disease and lack of resources sent my parents to serve God in the Heavens and left me an orphan who had to fend for himself. I thought nothing of dipping into pockets of the rich for change and smuggling abandoned fruit and bread in the marketplace. Why should I feel guilty for taking such small amounts of the things that so many had in plentiful bundles?
I pilfered and cheated my way through life until I was a young man and I heard talks about you in the village. I heard that you had gone off to live a life of solitude where you would serve none but God. Many villagers thought you mad, but I was intrigued. Was it not too late for religion to save me from a life of sin? From then, I decided to make myself a new man intent on serving God and spending my life carrying out God’s duties, not for tangible reward, but to join my lost parents in Heaven one day. “To you, therefore, my words are now addressed” (Benedict Prologue). Saint Benedict, it would mean a great deal to me and all humankind if you would be so generous as to write down your ways and stress the importance of living only to serve God and remind all that Hell is real and is so easy to fall into the traps of it. Explain that life is to be lived for God and God alone, and make Hell a constant reminder that can only be avoided by achieving a Heavenly status as a servant of God.
You see, Saint Benedict, there are so many others out there like the person I used to be. They have no knowledge that the small sin they partake in will slowly add up and build a case for them to join the fiery crusades of Hell. Save them, Saint Benedict, by explaining that their lives must be lived for God alone and not their selfish selves. “We must always so serve him with the good things He has given us…[or] deliver us to everlasting punishment as wicked servants who would not follow Him to glory” (Prologue). Begin your writings by telling all that life is to be lived by serving God, not to only do what is in the best interest for yourself. Life is not about taking, but giving unto others, “for if we wish to dwell in the tent of that kingdom, we must run to it by good deeds or we shall never reach it” (Prologue).
The downfall of man begins when he decides to live for himself instead of serving another. While there should be several rules for a monastery, it is most vital to ensure that any follower is constantly thinking of and doing for God. Saint Benedict, “let no one in the monastery follow his own heart’s fancy” (Chapter 3) for that is how my life lost meaning and I became intent on sin. If God is in the people’s hearts, they will not try to seek pleasure for merely themselves. Removing selfishness and arrogance will ensure that more people are service-oriented and empathetic towards each other. While people should do all work and deeds for God, they must also remember that this should not give them pride and a sense of accomplishment. These duties are to be carried out by God, but they are also only possible to be completed because of god. Great Saint, declare that people “should do all things in the fear of God and in observance of the Rule” (Chapter 3). God has high expectations for us as his servants and it would not do well for us to think that we are as good or better than him.
Instill in these people the thoughts of the bible like the verse, “I have come not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). It is vital for everyone to remember that God gave us life and we are merely thanking him for life by serving him; it is not necessary for us to complete what we want from life, only what God wants. Remind us all that “we are forbidden to do our own will” (Chapter 7) and instead, “His will be done in us” (Chapter 7) because we live to serve God. These constant reminders that we ought to live for God and not ourselves will help others to find the meaning of life just as you and I have done. This way of thinking will shape the individual into a better person, and these better people will work together to create a better world. But for those who still seek reward and will only serve God if there is something for them to earn, you must write about Hell.
My holy Saint, you must brainwash them with fears of Hell, for it is the only way to guarantee that people will strive to do anything they can to reach Heaven. Slip threats of the underworld in between each rule. Convince them “to fear the day of judgement” (Chapter 4) and to “be in dread of hell” (Chapter 4). Make heaven the reward and hell the punishment by speaking of “the fear of hell and the glory of life everlasting” (Chapter 5). Monger them with fear if we cannot convince them with mercy and kindness. Be sure to say that, “if we want to escape the pains of hell and attain life everlasting, then, while there is still time, while we are still in the body and are able to fulfill all these things by the light of this life, we must hasten to do now what will profit us for eternity” (Prologue).
Saint Benedict, you have saved me without knowing me, but imagine all those who you could save and all those you could protect by channeling your conversations with God and writing them for the world to see. Reward them with Heaven and punish them with Hell and remind them that “a person [must] keep the fear of God before his eyes and beware of ever forgetting it” (Chapter 7) in order to live a life of splendor that results in heaven. You are a true Saint in my eyes, but writing this to help people from all walks of life to reach the gates of Heaven will erase the whispers of hermit and fool from their mouths and will make you one of the holiest to have ever served God. You have humbled and saved me, and I thank you for that.